and after all this time.. your still here.

you brighten peoples day with your presence. others you darken. your like the sun after a storm. your not just the usual fairytale with the happy ending. there isnt a princess and a castle and dragon and the white knight. there isnt a rush there is nothing to run to. theres a competition you dont know about. like a rainbow you can only see at one point. im the only one at the one point. i wish it wasnt always like that. why do you make me feel helpless. like i have to watch myself every step i move. why is this happening. i dont know. because some day i will die. and i might not know. but thats life i guess. i proply dont make the most of mine. and i dont always learn from mistakes. i dont have trust issues as every apparently has these days. im not waiting for anything. im just living this thing called life. its taking too long. seems eternal. people say not to grow up too fast. make the most of each year. i dont think i have at all, i wish i was still a little kid. thats funny because apparently i was so mean when i was little. but really i dont care at all. those people who only remember that shit just shows thats all they care about, the worst of people. yeah i probly was mean when i was little but hey i dont think i am now so whats it matter to you now. get over it. yeah i may have stuffed up. but i had fun, i made mistakes. i saw you with a smile. and i smiled. i saw you with a frown and i frowned. you said hi, so did i. a killer in me is a killer in you. i think i did grow up to quickly. but in the way of where has all the time gone, a second ago i was in grade four. all kids care about these days is how people look at them, are they 'cool', i shouldnt like something because everyone else doesnt like it. i dont like that at all. and its stupid how people are like yeah im different to everyone. but no, there not. maybe they write it cos everyone does. your as blue as my goodbye. you change too much. you like too much. you hate too much. you give too much. you lie too much. you take too much for granted. i do. i dont care though. im not obsessed with the whole what do you think about me thing. i dont care if you hate me. go ahead like me. its easier to hate than to like, so id understand if your lazy. go play my guitar in the rain to music. i would. you know i wish i lived in a white box of nothing and someone to talk to whose friendly. thats what it kinda feels like but not much of anyone to talk to. i dont want to chat. to talk. is different.