it's so funny how no one actually cares unless you are about to die or weigh 30kg. it's not funny, it's sad. it's sad that no one seems to realize that to get to that point, there is a long period of suffering. it's sad that no one realizes someones in that long period of time. you won't realize until it's too late too.
'oh she's fine. i'm not worried. she'll be alright. we're working on it. haha. she's made huge improvements. she's been to the doctor. she's going to a dietitian. she's seeing a psychologist. she's having her tests. she's told me about it. she hasn't vomited in a while. she eats.'
fuck you. fuck you so much.
there's too many triggers. i can't do it. i just want to disappear.
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Everything becomes a thousand times different when you're in love. You can't do these things to yourself. There is a huge battle in my mind. Everyday. I can do one thing or another. I can choose one, and lose you, I could chose the other, and hate myself.
I need you more than anything. But what happens if I choose you, what happens when you leave. I'll have done this for nothing. I don't know.
I'm scared. I don't know anymore what's right and what's wrong.