Honestly I don't find anything this year good, happy, perfect, wonderful.
I don't think about my "brilliant" life before I close my eyes every night.
I find it hard to close them at all. I like to stay up as late as possible just so I fall asleep straight away.
Firstly it's not like I was happy with my life before this year anyway so that still stayed the same, foolish to think they'd ever change.. move on.. grow up.
Secondly your diagnosis, I guess I never thought of you that way but with a childhood like that you can't expect someone to be normal.
Thirdly your death. Half a year today. It's sad but true that I'm jealous, I am and I can't explain it. You were perfect, I wish I was perfect.
Fourth you came back. I can't honestly say that you ever left, I know your always there and it scares me and I know I can never turn back even if I try to act like it the voice is there, the mind is there.
Fifth I ruined us. I can sit here saying we could have been special but I'd be lying. I know eventually you'd move on and find someone better but I'm just sorry to ruin it for you for that moment even if it was for the best.
Sixth your death. I guess it was another reminder. Same date too. Same date. Same date.
Seventh your diagnosis. I cry a lot more these days just thinking of the amount of pain you must be in. How you hold it all in and don't tell anyone, you try to be so strong and you are. But it pains me to know the consequences of most of these diseases.
Eighth your still there but not really here. I don't know if anyone knows how much it hurts me that my bestfriend isn't exactly with me everyday like it used to be, I was with her every second at school and now it's gone to almost just in classes.
I don't think about my "brilliant" life before I close my eyes every night.
I find it hard to close them at all. I like to stay up as late as possible just so I fall asleep straight away.
Firstly it's not like I was happy with my life before this year anyway so that still stayed the same, foolish to think they'd ever change.. move on.. grow up.
Secondly your diagnosis, I guess I never thought of you that way but with a childhood like that you can't expect someone to be normal.
Thirdly your death. Half a year today. It's sad but true that I'm jealous, I am and I can't explain it. You were perfect, I wish I was perfect.
Fourth you came back. I can't honestly say that you ever left, I know your always there and it scares me and I know I can never turn back even if I try to act like it the voice is there, the mind is there.
Fifth I ruined us. I can sit here saying we could have been special but I'd be lying. I know eventually you'd move on and find someone better but I'm just sorry to ruin it for you for that moment even if it was for the best.
Sixth your death. I guess it was another reminder. Same date too. Same date. Same date.
Seventh your diagnosis. I cry a lot more these days just thinking of the amount of pain you must be in. How you hold it all in and don't tell anyone, you try to be so strong and you are. But it pains me to know the consequences of most of these diseases.
Eighth your still there but not really here. I don't know if anyone knows how much it hurts me that my bestfriend isn't exactly with me everyday like it used to be, I was with her every second at school and now it's gone to almost just in classes.