14 January 2010
ive realised im nothing to you. nothing at all. i may be some friendly person you chat to on messenger. i may be that person to give you advice on things that crush me. but im still here. i dont know why though. why the hell and i so stupid to stay the way i am after all this time. what is wrong with me. whenever i feel hopeful. i think of what could happen one day. but right now that one day seems a lot further than it could ever be. they tell you that love will come when your not looking for it. but ive tryed. tryed so much to not want anything, anyone. but i cannot help it. how can you stop loving something. its like asking someone to stop breathing. you can for a little bit. but in the end you go back to breathing. you have no choice. so why do i keep trying to not breathe. its foolish of me. but its still foolish to breathe. cant something happen. soon. how long do i have to wait for you. ive distracted myself for a while now. but all distractions are gone. so im left here. im half a heart in a blank room. worthless. useless. who wants half a heart. when someone still belongs the other half. who?