you have no idea.

the times we had. the times we didnt have. the times we will have. pick one. ive picked mine. but its really up to you. your choice. take your time cos i dont want you to pick the wrong one. or do i. you can if you want actually. i couldnt care less. just do it. pick your future. pick you life. your eternity. because i dont care. ive sold my soul to the fairies. and maybe they will drop it into someones hands. and maybe they will choose the times we will have. and maybe if you take too long i will decide to choose that too. and then i hope you suffer. because its worth suffering. your love. is worth it. mine isnt. because its always going to be wrong. i cant help it you know. because thats just life. but im living it. cos one day i will die. and it will be over. like that. i dont think ive lived enough to die yet. but ive been through enough. not lived enough. you may not know either. cos i dont just tell anyone. anything. you may be closest to me. but i try to keep bad things to myself. cos when i keep it in my head. i seems less real. i seems unreal. and when i say it aloud. i cry. because i hear it properly. i dont hear it in my thoughts racing around. i hear it in a trembling voice. i hear it loud and clear. but i still dont want to believe. but i see it everyday. and i cant run away from that. no matter how hard i try. things are always going to catch up with me.